Jesus stopped and called them. “What do you want me to do for you?” He asked. (Matt. 20:29-34, story of the blind men by the roadside shouting).
Since all of us have either had or been small children, we can relate to the frustration of a little kid trying to gain his/her parents’ attention. Some kids start soft and sweet and increase their volume and urgency to the level of a tornado siren. Other kids dispense with the quiet overtures as a waste of time and start right in screaming! Either way, they share a common goal – to divert mom or dad’s eyes, ears, and thoughts off of whatever else and on to number one. Methods may change as we grow up, but the need and desire doesn’t. Like flowers needing sunshine, we all thrive on the complete, caring attention of those important to us, and wilt when neglected.
Jesus, the ultimate Significant Other for all of us, deemed everyone He met worthy of His full attention. This meant stopping whatever He was doing, focusing completely on the person/people, listening with heart and mind engaged, and responding in the most helpful way. He spoke to each person as if they were the only person around.
Let’s look at Jesus’ interaction with the blind beggars by the roadside in Matthew 20:29-34 as a primary demonstration of this. Then, as now, the little people of society didn’t expect much attention from the great and famous. The blind, lame, and otherwise disabled expected even less. Yet, here a couple of blind beggars felt no qualms about disturbing the peace and protocol by shouting out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” when Jesus passed by with a huge procession (vv.29-30). We don’t wonder then, that “The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet” (v.31). We could wonder how the blind men had the spunk to shout even louder at Jesus to “have mercy on us!” (v.31). But if we didn’t already know Jesus’ character, we’d have really wondered when the Big Man stopped and called them. “What do you want me to do for you?” He asked. (v.32). Apparently, the blind men were sure enough of Jesus’ compassion to demand His attention and freely share their need when He showed interest. Have you ever been talking to a person when someone interrupts you, trying to either dominate the conversation or pull you away? Worse yet, you’ve been dominating or pulling! Our best model is Jesus who sacrificed His time for us by visiting this planet in the flesh. Please take time to give your undivided attention to others who need it.
Many of us have perfected the act of pretending to be listening. We have a way of showing interest without showing up! Our light appears to be on but nobody is really home. The flag is up on the mailbox, but there is no letter inside. This is because we are trying to solve our own problems from the day, or plan on how to solve the ones coming up. Granted, our spouse’s and children’s topics of discussion don’t always seem that relevant to our life’s ambitions. So, like a power switch on control panel of the car door, we raise the window, tune out the noise, and shut out the wind (while still enjoying the view!).
We need to realize that if we have the ability to listen to our supervisors at work then we have the stuff to listen to our mates. Why is it that we often treat them as more important than our helpmates? Not giving full attention can be a result of some other problem with the relationship. We need to solve that problem first, which may mean getting outside help.
If our car breaks down and needs some mechanical attention we make it a priority to get it repaired. But if our family suffers a relationship breakdown due to communication problems, we don’t realize the urgency to get it fixed. When our cars need repairing, we can respond in one of two ways: 1)Try and fix it ourselves, get frustrated, and end up bringing it in; or, 2)Realize we can’t fix it and bring it in right away. Either way, the problem exceeds our ability to solve it (unless of course you are an expert mechanic).
When it comes to a breakdown of relationship with our mate, if we can’t “fix it ourselves,” we need to bring both of ourselves in. Find a qualified pastor or professional counselor to help. Every couple should get a 50 million word check-up, and do the necessary repair and preventive maintenance to keep the communication running smoothly. Those who value their car pay attention to every little noise it makes. Isn’t your family worth more than your car? The more you care about your family, the more you’ll tune in, pay attention to the noises, get them repaired and enjoy listening to its hum.
Try this:
1. Think of at least three people who would benefit from your complete attention.
2. How can you focus your heart, mind, and ears on them in conversation? Think and apply some practical ways of achieving this i.e. doing something special together, going out to eat- just the two of you, etc.
